What a day

Now i am sitting at T-centralen i stockholm waiting for my husband to arrive by bus!

And than we will eat something after that  go to my sister to spend the night there on here sofas!

Bur first i have to get covers and my pillow from my mothers god this will be very very hard hehehe!

But so nice to be able to see my raouf before he goes back to tunisia!

Part 2! Cheating, lies and other shit from the people closest to you!!

Life is a bitch! Life is good! Life can treat you in diffrent ways and directions! Some people use there bad experians to do own  bad things in life!

Me i  got stronger a one man rockband with a deep wounded soul and a very dark mind, my savior was the horses I practiclly worked my self to death from i were about 15-16 yras old 1989 – 2001 full time with out vacation to keep myself in the right track of the leagel system, to actually not go back home to kill the worst terrorist in my world!

All so most of my young years  horses and the stzable were my only salvation and safty!  And natrually my school got suffering because of th unease at home always fighting and never quite and yyou never new when  you would bee beaten or yelled at many times you only wanted to die never to need hear all the abuses and hardship! But aat my 12th birthday i started to fightback i was no longer an easy target got harder and ruder towards the terrorist in my life, my mothers man! yet  she stayed with him for 15 years even though he all most killed us menatlly and hurt us pysically! WHY WHY a 12 year old  asks her self my mother hates me so much to me through this!  But i grow and got older at my  8th school year i skipped the school everyday and all most half 9th grade too before i got help!

And what a help i moved to a so called good friend of my grandmother and father that looked after me as a child! 1st week went well than i had to clean for all clean for the horses take care for the children at the same time  i had to study It did not go to well, yet again i  only had the horses to turn too, finally i run away home to a friend they kept me hidden for a few weeks while we waited for the social services to help me getting out of there and than i started to work, I worked 15 hours days to avoide to have to go home at some point i even slept at my job in the hey!  This was my first job well payed and a salvation and it got me a job in southern sweden i packed my bags and moved to not return more tha for small visitis to see my sisters and my grand mother! Than i took a job abroad i went away for many years and learnt german language, and to speak  very very good english! The horses helped me to cope with the long days and the dark thinking and all other things of my mind!

I write more about this another day!!

Try and fight back, a story in many parts of my life!! Part oné1

Every one  have bad experianse in life at some part of there life, and some  never experiance any good times at all! My life started out though and hard!

It started when my mother met a man, he was not very nice at all, he was a very abusive man, it all started nicely and got out of hand when my little sister Mia came into this world I was 7 years old!

When Mia had been home from hospital three day mother went to shop for just 30 minutes, and Mia got sad her father went in and started to shake my sweet baby sister like a doll i tried to strangle him to help her and succseded he went out of the room and back to his football and alcohol, than my mother came home!

I told what happened and it resulted in that she got beeten up by this monster than i tried to protect her!

My growing up in this familly was to protect and be all so  severly abused mentaly and pysically!

My ties to Mia are very strong even today, I love both of my sister dearly and there children!

I will write more some other day!

Sick!!! And deeply in LOVE!!!

Now its az few days sence i wrote anything here the reason is that i put all my devoted time to be with my husband! And  i ´am sick as well:(..

But it will be good, my big love takes very good care of me! I love my Raouf more than everything in this world!! He is the most wonderful man in this world!!!

I all so learnt that my mother is very sick, but as usal she refuse to go to the doctors, just like me;)!

It runs in our familly i think:D!

7 of september a day to remeber!!

Yes its a day to remeber!!  I got my man finally:D!

At this morning I married  the man in my life, my beautiful Raouf!


Now  everything is going very fast but god soon i will be with my man forever! Everything is set so at 7 th of September Me and Raouf will get married in Tranås! Finally! It have been a long wait for this and now  finally we can get it done!

Today my sisters two smallest childern where sick, ans Mia had to stay home from school, it ended up with that we had to go shop for food so they could eat something, and we got some hair color for my sister!

Me myself are sick two and its not very nice at all need to be well by friday!!!

But i guess it all will be very fine!

marita and raoufMe and my Raouf

My one and only!

Saturday live;)!

OH yes its saturday i Am at home relaxing and taking it easy today! I woke up late, and have not yet got out of my PJ its 14:10 the clock but who cares not me;)!

Today i will meet my mother she have been out crusing on the boat cindirella  and had some fun havent met her in a few days so it will be nice talking to her!

And as always I miss my beautiful Raouf like crazy i cant wait to next friday than i will see him again if everything goes as planned, I really love him more than life shit i can live with out him!!

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Yes relax and take it easy today!!!



Ella and Mia


A mornings thinking

Have been away leaving Ella and Didrik in kindergarten today! They are going to stay there to 11 a clock than i will pick them up and we will eat some lunch than they will go to sleep for a few hours  Didrik got a little bit sad but i think it will go well anyway!

Am sitting here alone! Mia is back in school yesturday she was at home because she was sick!

So I have to much time thinking and good I miss my Raouf like crazy, I really need to see him very soon! And I will meet him next friday if everything goes as planned witch i hope they do!

Tonight I am going to spend a very nice and quiet evening alone at home, good it will be like heaven just one thing missing and thats my big love in life YES my Raouf

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